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A perfect companion to the Gaydar detector keychain, Dickdar claims to size up a subject with their pants on. Just point and shoot—the Dickdar will analyze the “data” and respond with one of three phrases:

“That penis is a weapon of mass destruction”

“Um”…Hung like a field mouse”

“Mmm…Short & thick will do the trick”.

Too bad it doesn’t feature a “No penis detected” response. That would come in handy when confronted with prostitutes of a questionable gender.